And here it is, another day. I think the issue of *why* I am doing this is still brewing under the surface. I did feel inspired when I started this project. I don't doubt there was a reason for that inspiration. I should just trust that there is a reason and it will play itself out whether I am conscious of it or not.

I think another reason I stepped back from the story is that I don't want the characters or situations to be too close to my own life. The two characters I had started developing, Hannah & her friend, might be identified with myself and a friend of mine. Hannah is not intended to be me. She has a core identity and past that are not similiar to me. Her friend is meant to be similiar to my friend, but only in situation, not in action or personality.

I will draw on people and situations I know in order to give reality and depth to the characters and relationships in X. I won't, however, bind the story to reality. That would be dishonest to the characters, and an invasion of privacy of the actual people. I have to accept that process and move forward.

The Return:
As I was gently reminded last week, I haven't written here in a long time. I didn't realize it had been quite so long until I logged into blogger.com. That slippery slope of "I'll get to it tomorrow" easily becomes a long dry spell when I'm not careful.

All I can say is work interfered--both my day job and some personal/spiritual work I've been doing. While my audience here is small, you do matter. If you take the trouble to come see how I'm progressing, I should provide something for you to read--even if it's just rambling about why I haven't made progress.

I think I've been wondering *why* this project. Is it so I'll impress people? So that my writing talents will be noticed and maybe, somehow, I'll find a way to make a living as a writer? Is it to influence the way people view the world of BDSM? And if it's that, do I want to influence those who do BDSM or the vanilla world --or both? Is there some story or character in my head that has something to say and I'm just trying to express that? Am I trying to exercise my writing skills so that I will evolve into a better writer? Is it about ego or message? Fame or Ministry? Education of others or Development of sElf?

Maybe it's the fact that I don't know, that I don't have a clear purpose, that is blocking my progress and the excuse of work is a cover story that sounds better.